A Family Business by Joseph Reilly

I do not fear you pain,
I fear your brother,
The pain that gets others.

Regular pain, I find you simple.
You are what comes and goes.
You are temporary, fleeting. 
Your brother I cower to. 
For he is unpredictable, ruthless.
He attacks the ones I love.

The ones I love, I can't protect.
Their own minds lack locks.
Contrary to mine: a door void of handles,
Melted down by years of trauma. 
And desensitized by harsh realities.
Protection is hard.

Your brother knows all weaknesses.
Times disrupted, loved one's tears shed.
Attacked my second half, 
Her only dream was stolen.
For the route to me is harder.
For I've mastered it all.
From sorrow to grief.

My second half is pure, soft as snow.
Your other half strikes like a shovel. 
As warm as train coal.
And I watch, as nights pass,
The same tears fall. 
Her panic attacks arrive,
And she asks me why.
No answers come, I only hold strategies.

Hurts more than any physical sensation.
I watch her suffer.
I watch her go through the stages.
I'd take a shattered knee over this. 
I'd take regular pain over this.

But that's not the battle.
You guys have home field advantage.
And it's your rules.
That's what pain is, uncompromising.
When summed up like that,
There must be a way to defeat.

Perhaps time.
As time is just as uncompromising.
And there's the realization:
Whether regular pain, a loved one's pain, they're just terrible brothers.
And one day I'll fear neither of them
Because my snowflake will be ice. 
And on that day, it'll be two on two. 

About the Poet:

Joseph Reilly is the author of the novel Vanishing Love set to be released by Adelaide Books in November 2020. He is the current head writer for ShipByMail Services Inc. Joseph’s writing has been published by Monologue Blogger and Chegg.com, among others. He has also penned two self- published contemporary romance novels Hearts and Diners, and Better at Friendships on Amazon along with holding a Bachelor’s Degree in Creative Writing from The New School in New York. You can read all of his work and more at joereillywrites.wordpress.com.