My Childhood Fear by Diana Raab

of the dark began on a winter evening

at the age of eight in Queens

 

when I walked down

the creaky wooden stairs

of my childhood home

to the kitchen for an apple.

 

When I looked to the snow-filled yard,

under the full moon,

my eyes caught a clown-like figure.

 

With onyx dots for eyes,

a woolen mask was slipped over his face.

Behind him,

a large shadow on the sparkling snow.

 

Was he a ghost looking like a joker?

He jumped from side to side and signaled me

towards him. I wanted to run,

but hovered between a child’s curiosity

and an adult’s fear.

My instincts made me leave.

 

I scurried back upstairs,

so fast, the railing burning my hand.

At the top of the stairs,

I peered down the dark stairwell—

was the swooshing sound

the joker or the wind?

 

Safe in my room,

I landed in the arms

of my Tiny Tears doll

holding space on my bed.

 
*Previously published in The RavensPerch, July 27, 2022*

 

About the Poet:

Diana Raab, MFA, PhD, is a memoirist, poet, workshop leader, thought-leader and award-winning author of fourteen books. Her work has been widely published and anthologized. She frequently speaks and writes on writing for healing and transformation. Her latest memoir is Hummingbird: Messages from My Ancestors, A memoir with reflection and writing prompts (Modern History Press, 2024).

 Raab blogs for Psychology Today, The Wisdom Daily, The Good Men Project, Thrive Global, and is a guest blogger for many others. Visit her at: https:/www.dianaraab.com.