More to everyone’s surprise than to our sorrow
Kang, my best high school friend, left us only nine
Days after his lung cancer was diagnosed. Some
Attributed his sudden demise to his stinginess (he
Hated to pay out of his pocket to hire a nanny to take
Care of him though, being a cripple, he’d completely
Lost his mobility due to a fall, nor was he willing to
Share his handsome pension with a new partner – I’m
Too old to fuck any woman now, he said); some
To his stubbornness (he refused to take advice to
Have a yearly physical check up though he was a
Lifelong chain smoker); others to his obsession with
Face, the image of a strong guy who’d proved himself
To be a better pingpong ball player, a faster swimmer &
A more capable person than most other able-bodied guys
Who had published his first story in a prestigious journal
At age eighteen & who had worked all his way from
A factory dafter to a mid-ranking city official, but
I knew him too well:
If he had not been acting so hard
All his life as a self-styled protagonist on the high stage
Of human existence, if he’d shared some of his failures &
Weaknesses with us, rather than suffered alone, he could’ve
Outlived his pretty wife who’d made him a “poor cuckold”
*Author's note: This poem is written in memory of my oldest friend Kang Jian (康健).
About the Poet:
Yuan Changming grew up in an isolated village in China and began learning English in Shanghai at nineteen before moving to Canada. Currently, he lives in Vancouver.
Ephemeral Elegies 
Your poem is a beautiful reminder that strength is not measured by how much we can endure alone, but by our willingness to let others witness our fears, our failures, and our humanity. It made me think about how many people spend their lives protecting an image of themselves, only to discover too late that being loved was always more important than being admired.
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